Testimony of Douglas Johnson

My testimony is not a coming to Jesus at vacation Bible School when I was 8.

My testimony is not a macho drunkalogue of debauchery and reckless violence and chaos.

My testimony is not the Gospel. Testimonies are good but they are not the Gospel.

In fact, I doubt if someone will read this Testimony and think that my story was so inspiring that they will drop whatever they are doing and believe that Jesus is the son of God, died an atoning death for their sins and rose again in three days.  That would be great but it’s probably not going to happen.

I was born into a Roman Catholic family.  All my relatives were Roman Catholic.  All my friends were Roman Catholic. All my neighbors were Roman Catholic. We all went to the Catholic elementary school; Saint Maria Goretti.  The story was that the Pope canonized her as a Saint because she would not give up her virginity, so a man killed her. As a kid in Catholic elementary school that story would qualify as our sex education course. I attended LaSalle Academy, a Catholic High School.

As a child my family attended church every Sunday; my mother and three siblings.  My father would not go very often as he was usually nursing a hangover from the night before.  The time he did go he would fall asleep and start snoring. At least until my mother elbowed him, When I was 10, I became an altar boy. When I was 13, I was confirmed into the Catholic Church which was considered a sacrament. Confirmation is like a Jewish bar mitzvah only you did not get as much money.   We were taught a lot of strange things.  Like going in a closet to tell a priest your sins and then reciting the “Our Father” ten times in row.  Praying with beads. Not eating fish on Friday because the Pope said we had too.  That no one is allowed in heaven unless they are baptized.   That if you dropped the bread which they called the eucharist on the floor someone had to clean the entire floor. When I first went to church the Mass was in Latin.  Later in the 1960s it was changed to English. This is just a sprinkling of some of the things we were taught.  What we weren’t taught was to think biblically.  We were not to question anything the Pope said, the Priests did, or the Nuns taught.  Whether young or old no one was encouraged to read the Bible.  The Catholic Clergy would do that for you.  Every week at mass there was another one of 52 stories.  The sequence nor the stories ever changed.

It was instilled in us that Roman Catholicism was the one true religion. All other religions were false. That Jesus started Roman Catholicism and appointed the Apostle Peter as the first Pope.

Jesus was for forty-five minutes tops on Sundays the rest of the week was ours.

This all seems so absurd and laughable in retrospect.

When I was in my late teens, early twenties I began to read the Bible.  I would read a chapter every night until I fell asleep.  My goal was to just complete it.  I was just gathering information in case I needed to debate or refute what you were saying.  I was not trying to grow my relationship with the Lord.  I was reading it like a textbook.  I believe I read it cover to cover at least twice.

In my mid-twenties I had some personal setbacks due primarily to unchecked bad habits. When I was 24, I decided to stop drinking alcohol and go make my fortune in the world.  I continued the habit of reading the Bible.  I began praying in the morning, and I prayed a prayer of gratitude at night. The prayer was something along the lines of give me the courage and strength to make it through the day and saying thanks at night that I accomplished that.  The God I prayed to, was a generic God. A god that I concocted out of pieces from here and there. I incorporated Jesus into a type of universal God of the universe.  I still pray every day without fail. But it is to the one true God revealed in scripture.

Back then all the time I was reading and praying I continued to do whatever I wanted to with no thought at all of Christ’s sovereignty over the world or my life. It just never entered my mind. Sometime in the 1990s I attended a non-denominal Christian church.  That was when I began to understand about the atoning death of Christ.  Later we moved away, and I began to attend a Baptist Church.  I enjoyed going there and I was Baptized there.  I attended for several years. I learned a lot about the true Jesus and God the Father.  Then just like in the parable of the seeds in Matthew 13, I was gone.  Whether I had no depth to face trials, or the cares of the world and deceitfulness of riches carried me away I cannot say for certain.  I will say that I was among the missing for close to twenty years.  I considered myself to be a good person by my standards.  In essence I was my own God determining how I should live, act and behave.  Then in 2016 I started to attend church again.  It was a megachurch, the music was enjoyable, but the preaching was less than illuminating.  I started to get the feeling that something was not right.  I would go home and break down what the pastor said and compare that to what the Bible said.  When they started talking in tongues, having Holy Ghost contractions and appointing apostles it was time for me to leave.  The Church practices and structure did not align with scripture.  I felt like it was a business run for the benefit of the Pastor and his Family.  If someone was saved or baptized along the way that was secondary.

I began to go from church to church looking for one that I could belong to.  Some Churches taught a different gospel, others were plainly refusing to preach against sin, still others were churches of personalities of the man who started them, some churches were closed to allowing anyone new into any positions in “their" church.  All the while I would listen and compare what they were doing to what God was saying through his word. One church I attended and then I was told that I didn’t have the Holy Spirit because I didn’t speak in tongues.  I couldn’t find that in scripture.  Another church I attended for several years was founded by two families and everyone was related or intermarried.  I tried to contribute my time to the church, but they didn’t that any outside input. Another church I attended believed in Calvinism which preaches that God predestines some people to Heaven and others to Hell.  I read scriptures such as John 3:16 which states that “whosoever” believes is saved.  I was growing closer to God at each turn.  My discernment was growing. My knowledge was growing.  My understanding of Christian theology and doctrine was growing in its application. No church will be perfect.  However, the Church is the bride of Christ, and we should endeavor to seek truth and purity. Currently I attend a church and I believe my mission is to keep the Church on track theologically and organizationally.  In Galatian 1 The Apostle Paul says that there is only one Gospel and anyone that tries to give another Gospel is accursed.

Something else happened to me on my journey.  For the life of me I do not know why I did not understand this sooner.  In Romans 10:9 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”  When I first was Baptized, I understood that Jesus Christ was my savior. I understood Christs’ death was an atoning death, a substitutionary payment for my sins. Romans 3. I understood I was saved by faith Ephesians 2. I liked the fact that Jesus my Savior.  But to this day I cannot understand that he was my LORD and SAVIOR.  If he is Lord, then I am his servant. I must act on his behalf. He is the Master, then I am the slave. I cannot live my life according to my own desires and wants and worldly lusts. Christ states if you love me then keep my commandments. John 14:15.   My education and knowledge of God will never be complete. The more I learn of God, his nature, his attributes, his story, who he is the more I am able to love him and the more I can love others.

Sincerely,

Douglas Johnson